South Park Goes Broadway
by redhed311
Summary: A collection of song parodies. NEW CHAPTER!
1. Hello, Kenny!

Author's Note: Well, until I get over my writer's block and actually write a real fic, here's a collection of parodies. These are all based on songs from Broadway musicals. I apologize if these suck, I've never done anything like this before. This will be updated fairly often, (or at least whenever I think of new ones) so sit back, relax, and enjoy…… South Park Goes Broadway!

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"Hello, Kenny!"

Based on "Hello, Dolly!" from the musical "Hello, Dolly!" by Jerry Herman

Hello, Kenny.

Well hello, Kenny. 

It's so nice to have you back where you belong. 

You're looking swell, Kenny. 

We can tell, Kenny 

You're still mumblin', 

You're still mutterin', 

You're still goin' strong. 

We hear the fans cheerin'

For they were fearin'

That they'd never see your orange parka again. 

So, 

Ditch Butter, fellas, 

Say adios to Tweek, fellas,

Kenny'll never go away again!


	2. I've No Rhythm

Author's Note: You may not get this one if you haven't seen the episode "Rainforest, Schmainforest".

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"I've No Rhythm"

Based on "I Got Rhythm" from the musical "Girl Crazy" by George and Ira Gershwin

I've no rhythm,

'Cause I'm Jewish.

I cannot dance,

My coordination is poor.

Choreographed

Routines bug me.

Can't do the steps,

My coordination is poor.

Fatass Cartman,

I don't mind him.

At least my mom's

Not a whore.

I've no rhythm,

And two left feet.

But who cares if

My coordination is poor?

My coordination is poor!


	3. Summertime

Author's Note: The following is based on the episode "Summer Sucks".

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"Summertime"

Based on "Summertime" from the musical "Porgy and Bess" by George and Ira Gershwin

Summertime

And the livin' ain't easy.

Snow has melted

And fireworks are banned.

Pip's in summer school

Cartman's swimming in urine.

And Mr. Hat ain't on Mr. Garrison's hand.

Ned and Jimbo

Have been thrown in the slammer.

And that big ash snake

Can do nothing but destruct.

Chef can't help us

'Cause he's stuck in Aruba.

It looks like the whole town is completely fucked.


	4. Seasons of Hate

Author's Note: This song is dedicated to the two years that the boys were stuck with Mr. Garrison as a teacher.

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"Seasons of Hate"

Based on "Seasons of Love" from the musical "Rent" by Jonathan Larson

One million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes,

One million fifty-one thousand moments to fear,

One million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes,

How do you measure,

Measure two years?

In gayness, in NAMBLA, in sex-ed, and deranged puppets,

In twigs and gerbils up Mr. Slave's ass.

In one million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes,

How do you measure two years in his class?

How about hate?

How about hate?

How about hate?

Measure in hate.

Seasons of hate.

Seasons of hate.

One million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes,

One million fifty-one thousand moments of sin,

One million fifty-one thousand two hundred minutes,

How do you measure two years with Mr. Garrison?

We thought he was gone,

And relieved, we all sighed.

But trouble soon loomed,

When Ms. Choksondik died.

It's time now,

To move on,

Though our wounds may never mend.

Let's grit our teeth, forgive, and forget until fourth grade ends.

Remember the hate.

Remember the hate.

Remember the hate.

Measure in hate.

Seasons of hate.

Seasons of hate.


	5. My Favorite Things

Author's note: The following is dedicated to the insanity that is known as South Park.

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"My Favorite Things"

Based on "My Favorite Things" from the musical "The Sound of Music" by Rogers and Hammerstein

Weight Gain Four Thousand and zombies and pink eye,

Terrance and Phillip and blue towels that get high,

Seeking advice from a school chef that sings, 

These are a few of my favorite things.

Pissed off big sisters who have to wear braces,

Fat kids with pubic hair glued to their faces,

Lemmiwinks now is the new Gerbil King,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Mormons and turkeys and gay dogs and crack-whores,

Hiring a hooker to give parents cold sores,

Butters, you're not watching Lord of the Rings!

These are a few of my favorite things. 

When I'm pissed off,

When I'm fuming,

When I'm bored as hell,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I feel really swell!


	6. Ol' Man Marvin

Author's Note: This next one is dedicated to Stans's grandpa, Mr. Marvin Marsh!

* * *

"Ol' Man Marvin"

Based on "Ol' Man River" from the musical "Showboat" by Oscar Hammerstein and Jerome Kern

Older folks sit, watching stupid TV,

Older folks sit while the young folks play,

Ingrate grandkids won't kill their own grandpa,

So he's forced to suffer every day.

*

Wants to die, waits every day,

Hoping death will take him away,

Screw limbo! He wants to die.

But Death always passes him by.

*

Tries to end it, but his plans are ruined,

Pesters Stanley with the same old plea,

"I killed my grandpa when I was your age,

Why won't you do the same thing for me?"

*

Ol' Man Marvin,

That Ol' Man Marvin,

He must do somethin',

But can't do nothin',

He just keeps rollin',

He just keeps rollin' along.

*

That new law's rotten, 

Let's have a meeting.

"What's this about, now? 

We've all forgotten."

But Ol' Man Marvin,

He just keeps rollin' along.

*

Suicide is on his brain,

Body all achin' and racked with pain.

Smartass son is on his tail,

Takes a little drive and he lands in jail.

*

He grows weary,

And sick of tryin',

He's tired of livin',

Can't wait for dyin',

But Ol' Man Marvin,

He just keeps rollin' along.


End file.
